If I'm wrong let me know, but no one I know is growing younger. We're all getting older, closing in on the cemetery grave or the ovens of cremation.
And there's good ole Dick Clark refusing to give up, refusing to hide. What gall! I mean, how dare he? That's what numerous TV critics and columnists are saying -- particularly the young ones.
WE'RE SCARED OF AGING AND DEATH
I say that we in America fear death, and the illnesses and incapacities that often precede it. We don't want to think about it or talk about it. And sure-as-hell, we don't want to look at it, or see anything that shows us what is likely to come for us too. That's when we come up short on compassion. We're cowards, scaredy cats.
First comes the aging, when Dick Clark, "America's oldest teenager," doesn't look so young anymore. If the guy who seemed eternally young can get old, what does that mean for us?
WHY WE'RE MAD AT DICK CLARK
It's to the point now that when Dick Clark shows up each year to ring in the new one, more and more people are getting mad. We sit in front of our TV's waiting for Clark's countdown, waiting for the crystal ball to drop in New York's Times Square. Waiting for him to make a mistake. Remember the Colosseum in Rome? The madness of the mob, Romans with a taste for blood, deaths of Christian martyrs. I'm just saying...
We want this to be par-tee time! We're supposed to feel great, er drunk, and get kisses come midnight. Instead we're "confronted with an 80-year-old wheelchair-bound stroke victim, who with each slurred word, makes us realize that if the man who seemed eternally youthful can get old...we're all screwed," says the Gothamist.
Clark was quoted as saying: "I must admit the encouragement I've received from so many people inspires me because apparently my appearance serves as a good motivation for others who have suffered a stroke."
Nah, we don't care about all those stroke victims and their feelings. We care about our own feelings, our need to pretend that we're not growing old, we will not get strokes and we'll never die.
Last year prior to Clark's New Year's Eve countdown, the L.A. Snark blog commented on Clark's use of a walker and wheelchair, by saying: "No one wants to see that shit!" A very young-looking Chad continued: "...like a rubbernecker watching a car accident on the freeway, we'll probably be drawn in to watching this train wreck happen."
"Dick, you should be home with your wet nurse rockin' the New year in your rocking chair. You deserve the time off and we deserve a break from the Pitty party [sic]." Poor Chad was still in denial that he too will age and he is willing to hurt in order to create controversy and drive traffic to his blog.
"ENOUGH ALREADY!"
At the New York Post, Michael Starr writes in the paper's TV blog: "While some applaud Clark's bull-nosed determination to prove the naysayers wrong, I also understand those who say, "Enough already!" wondering why such a pop-culture giant insists on appearing on national TV, seated in his wheelchair in frigid Times Square, when he has nothing to prove."
Saying Clark's once-a-year appearance only heightens "the curiosity factor," Starr insists "It's uncomfortable to watch." Poor guy. If Starr is uncomfortable, that's all that counts.
THE POOP STINKS
And then there's Peter Hartlaub, the pop culture critic at the San Francisco Chronicle and founder of The Poop, the newspaper's parenting blog. The name of his blog is a good descriptor of his criticism of Clark when he calls Clark's countdown to midnight "the worst five minutes of television I've ever seen." Doggone, Peter was disturbed.
UNETHICAL RIDICULE
Hartlaub ridiculed Clark -- remember he's 80 years old and a wheelchair-bound stroke victim --writing in capitals "HE BOTCHED THE NUMBERS." During the countdown Clark skipped number 13 and switched numbers 10 and 11. Good God, close the gates to heaven! "...it's time to step down when viewers are cringing into the New Years," insists Hartlaub.
Perhaps we should reveal that his column in "The Poop" stinks as a foul post. There's just no excuse for this kind of ethics, regardless of whether you call yourself a "critic."
Back to the young snark-person in LA, Chad said of Clark's TV appearance last New Year's Eve: "It's so painful, like visiting my grandparents at an old folks home, the moment you get their [sic] you want to leave which is how I felt when watching this train wreck at a house party a few years ago."
Maybe if Chad spent a little more time with his grandparents he would know the difference between the words "their" and "there."
HIDE THE ELDERLY AND SICK AWAY IN NURSING HOMES
In fact, what Chad expressed is how many feel and reminds me of what nursing home staff say about the elderly for whom they care -- folks want to put the old in nursing homes so they don't have to look at them. They want them to be invisible, locked away so they don't have to see them and feel uncomfortable. The staff say that most of their resident patients do not get visitors -- ever -- not even family.
My feelings are more closely aligned with those expressed by Mark Dagostino in Tonic.com. After Clark's major stroke in 2004, Dagostino admires Clark for "his resilience" in his remarkable comeback:
"His age may show through a bit more these days (and really, it's about time!). And there may even be moments when a slur in his speech or the rigidity in his body -- the stroke's lingering effects -- are uncomfortable to watch. After all, we're all programmed to see nothing but slickness in our favorite TV hosts."
RESILIENCE BRIGHTER THAN THE CRYSTAL BALL
"His spirit of resilience shines brighter than that famous crystal ball that'll drop down at midnight."
Hey, Dick -- It was nice seeing you again! Don't worry about the numbers. If we, who haven't had strokes, don't know how to count backwards, from 10 to one, that's our problem. You really do inspire a lot of us!
by Sharon McEachern
Comments