What every little girl wants -- a sugar daddy. That's what Mattel believes. Come next April, Mattel will release "Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken." Lord have mercy! When I first heard about this George Hamilton look-alike doll, I thought it was a joke you might hear at a gay men's party.
"Sporting a dashing jacquard-patterned jacket with a light pink polo shirt and crisp white pants, this Ken Doll is ready for the Palm Beach social season, sunning by the pool and a stroll with his furry little companion," says Mattel's promotional release. Gag me.
A LITTLE GIRL'S DREAM DOLL?
What little girl wants an old-man-with-grey-hair-dressed-in-pastels-doll?
And when did the Barbie line cost $81.99 for one doll? That's what Sugar Daddy Ken will cost.
More importantly, there's the ethics issue, this "sugar daddy" business.
WHAT'S A SUGAR DADDY?
We all know that a sugar daddy is a wealthy elderly man who gives a younger girl expensive gifts and necessities of life in return for companionship -- intimacy that is often sexual in nature.
This significant age disparity in sexual relationships isn't something that most parents wish to teach, or model, for their children even in play.
IT'S AN INNOCENT NAMING
But wait! Mattel wants you to believe that its naming of this particular Sugar Daddy Ken doll is perfectly innocent. Why, it should be clear. The doll got its name, according to a Mattel spokesperson, because the dog is named "Sugar" and Ken is its "Daddy."
Ahem. Mattel needs a spokesperson who is better at obfuscation. After all, "obfuscation" is the concealment of intended meaning, making communication confusing, intentionally ambiguous and more difficult to interpret. And, yes, that's Mattel.
And another thing -- the spokesperson explains the doll is meant for adult collectors, not kids. Well, then.
THE PALM BEACH CONNECTION
Let's not forget that Sugar Daddy Ken is a Palm Beach kinda guy. Apparently a lot of really little dogs live there, whose mommies and daddies like to dress them up when they go out for walks. (Photo right from The Palm Beach Post.)
Frank Cerabino, columnist for The Palm Beach Post, says Mattel missed its chance to be more representative of the evolving reality for the Florida resort city.
"If only you had come up with Madoff With My Money Barbie, repossessed Rolls-Royce sold separately, or Alimony-Poor Ken and his younger new companion, Trophy Wife Skipper, who comes with a wardrobe change that allows her to go back to her previous incarnation as Hooters Waitress Skipper," writes Cerabina.
FULL OF IDLE DANDIES
The Sugar Daddy Ken doll is going to spread "the wrong idea that Palm Beach is full of idle dandies who have nothing better to do than walk their rat-sized dogs on the end of pink leashes," he continues. "Actually, this is true only during the season, and some of the leashes may be pale blue and sequined."
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by Sharon McEachern
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