A Turkey's Thanksgiving Prayer
by Sharon McEachern
Our Heavenly Father, errr Mother
(whatever...I'm winging it here),
I'm a turkey (as you know, of course)
And your people want to EAT ME.
But before they chew on my legs and slice my breast,
Wrap my bones in newspaper
And throw my carcass in the garbage,
They will KILL ME.
God, I'm talking about chopping my neck off,
Dunking me in boiling water to loosen my feathers,
And throwing me into a f---ing plucking machine.
Lord, could you give a turkey a break?
TO READ "HELP, HELP ME GRANDMA! A HEADLESS TURKEY IS CHASING ME" CLICK HERE.