SARAH PALIN will not go away. I had high hopes that Alaska would swallow her back and she'd actually work as the state's governor -- between hunting trips and keeping her eyes on Russia -- leaving we-of-the-lower-48-contiguous at last alone. But NOooo! Now I read that Palin will be part of the National Council for a New America, "an attempt by leaders in Congress and potential 2012 presidential candidates to rebrand the struggling party," says the Washington Post. Aw, Jeez!
STILL A TOP DRAW
And then I read in the UK's Guardian: "More proof that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is a top Republican party fundraising draw and remains a star among the party faithful." (Make that "Old Faithful" Republicans -- the old, white men who get all flushed with Palin's good looks.)
Next I read a story that I at first thought was a satire piece. (Satire often trips me up.) It's very funny and a perfect metaphor for Sarah Palin. But, slowly (you see, I was savoring its hilarity) it dawned on me that it was an honest-to-God true story. Are you ready? Set your cup of hot coffee down, please.
The National Rifle Association, of which Palin is a proud member, is honoring her with a custom made "Alaskan Hunter" rifle. It is an AR-15, the civilian model of the M-16 assault rifle widely used by the US military. For God's sake -- it's a war weapon!
NOW, WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO WITH AN ASSAULT RIFLE?
Or, as Kathy Malley says in an OpEdNews post titled "But Can it Take Down a Wolf From a Helicopter?", the rifle is "fit for a crusading christian bang-up beauty queen-cum-moose hunter-cum Governor and VP candidate."
"If 'Deadeye' Dick Cheney had been gifted with one of these babies there wouldn't be a quail or lawyer left in Wyoming."
As is shown in the photo (right) Palin believes a good mother shares the killing experience with her child.
OH BOY, A .50 CALIBER BEOWULF CHAMBER
The best reporting I read about Gov. Palin's custom made assault rifle is by Jimmy Orr at the Christian Science Monitor. It is Orr who mentions the .50 caliber Beowulf chamber on Palin's "Alaskan Hunter" rifle. If you're like me, you're saying "huh?" right about now. Knowing nothing of hunting rifles or calibers, I first thought of Beowulf, the legendary hero of the Old English epic poem who slays a monster. I think that's why the .50 caliber Beowulf has its name -- it'll kill a huge monster.
To illustrate what this caliber can do, Orr used the example of a NYPD sharpshooter filmed on TV's 60 Minutes several years ago. Using a Barrett .50 caliber rifle the sharpshooter pierced a half-inch steel target from 300 yards away. This formidable weapon, described as "clearly a weapon of war" by New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly, has an effective range of about 2,000 yards. A US military weapons specialist said this gun would easily take down an elephant or a polar bear.
ELEPHANT, POLAR BEAR OR CARIBOU
"I wouldn't hunt caribou with it," he told Orr. "There really wouldn't be a lot left to eat off of it but then again you wouldn't have to worry about gutting it either."
That's what the Republicans are worrying about -- what, or who, to gut from the party.
May I suggest Sarah Palin and John McCain? Oops! They're on the National Council for a New America that's going to try and rebrand the GOP. Surely Dick Cheney could go rest somewhere, instead of stopping at every TV station he passes to do videotapping. Word is Cheney shows up unscheduled and wants someone to interview him. Aren't there any ice floes left?
By Sharon McEachern
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