If the idea of more animal rights aggravates you, take a Zantac. You're gonna have some acid reflux. If you are in favor of animal rights, pretend you're in the Swiss Alps singing "The hills are alive ..." Switzerland has adopted new animal protection legislation.
The new law, which went into effect in September, spells out in minute detail how all domestic animals are to be treated. This includes pets, farm animals and those destined for scientific experiments. Even wild animals are covered by the legislation if they are in zoos or circuses.
It's the inclusion of entities such as goldfish that bothers some folks. The new law specifies in detail how goldfish are to be treated -- live fish cannot be flushed down the toilet. They must be knocked out and killed first -- er, euthanized, according to Feedstuffs, the weekly newspaper for Agribusiness. I think these are some of the guys who might want that Zantac. If you go to their website, you can get a free subscription to the new "Hog-Handling Newsletter."
As for fish other than goldfish, the Swiss law bans catch-and-release fishing and the use of live fish bait.That last one is a bit confusing to me. If you can't use live fish bait, it must mean you have to use flies and artificial lures. What if a formerly live worm is dead after being stabbed by a hook? Okay, let's assume artificial only. So if you catch a fish using artificial bait, is it more pro-animal rights NOT to catch-and-release, but rather kill and keep?
Let's go back to the goldfish.
GOLDFISH GOTTA MEMORY?
The Swiss must think that what we've all heard about goldfish is not true. You know, goldfish only have a three-second memory and so "it's okay to eat them, live, while you're inebriated and in Pittsburgh." That's what Benny Bleiman, from Scienceblogs' Zooillogix, used to believe. In college, Benny and his buddies used to take a road trip up to the University of Pittsburgh for the Goldfish Party, an annual frat house event.
"...frat guys would challenge one another to eat the most live goldfish," says Benny. "I always thought that this practice was morally acceptable because the frat guys were slightly more intelligent than the goldfish and thus, higher up on the food chain. Turns out I might have been wrong."
A 15-year-old science student in Southern Australia proved goldfish have much more powerful memories than previously known -- not 3 seconds, but at least a week. The kid said he wanted his experiment to challenge the goldfish three-second memory theory and prove it a myth intended to make us feel less guilty about keeping fish in small tanks. Benny adds: "Yes, or less guilty about feeling a live goldfish swishing around in your stomach until it inevitably succumbs to your gastric juices."
I suppose the Swiss would say that same kind of logic applies to flushing live goldfish down the toilet.The new rules also stipulate that fish tanks should not be transparent on all sides and that owners must make sure that the natural cycle of day and night is maintained in terms of light, according to the Times (London).
The Swiss animal rights legislation also mandates that domestic animals, pets and wild animals in captivity must now be kept with at least one companion of their own species. Any animal classified as a "social species" (that would be "Gruppentiere" in German) will be considered a victim of abuse, if it does not cohabit, or have contact, with others of its own kind.
Oh, yes, and dog owners must take classes on how to properly raise their canine and learn how to minimize their risk of biting. And forget those creepy cosmetic procedures-- cropping tails and ears and surgically making ears droopy are illegal now. Hoorah! Leave the tails and ears alone! Prospective dog owners will have to pay for and complete a two-part course -- a theory part on the needs and wishes of the animal and a practice part, where owners will be instructed in how to walk their dog and react to a variety of situations that might arise. That's five theory lessons and a minimum five sessions "in the field." All people who've been chased off the sidewalk by a growling, barking dog may shout with glee. Sounds like a damn good idea to me.
CLICK AND READ: "LIVE ANIMAL KEY RINGS: TORTURE FOR TURTLES AND GOLDFISH"
By Sharon McEachern
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